Remembering Woodstock 40 Years Later

August 16, 2009 | Author: RssBlogger | Posted in Comedy, Lucifer Jones - The Real Devil

Greetings my fellow minions,Lucifer Jones here.

I wanted… no I NEEDED to take a lil break from “The Devil’s History” cause truth be told it really brings back a lot of bad memories for me, and well, I’ll get back to the history at a later date.

Today however, I want to take some time and look back 40 years today to one of my GREATEST FEATS EVER!

WOODSTOCK.

I know what your thinking, What the hell did the devil have to do with woodstock??

But IF you know ANYTHING about Woodstock it really is a no brainer lol.

The idea of a bunch of hippy freaks gathered together for peace and love just made me sick so my original idea was to make sure it never ever happened, so I set out to make sure that WoodStock would not happen.

First up, The concert was originally scheduled to take place in Wallkill, in the 300-acre Mills Industrial Park. I went to Wallkill and influenced the Town residents and they immediately opposed the project, they needed an iron clad “legal loophole’ to stop the concert so I spoke with the town board and gave them their loophole…

Wallkill Zoning Board of Appeals officially banned the concert on the basis that the planned portable toilets would not meet town code.

I thought that I had won, and there would not be a Woodstock at all, but little did I know, Michael Lang was not going to give up so easy!

Michael Lang met up with Elliot Tiber, who owned the 80-room El Monaco Motel on White Lake in Bethel. he offered to host the event on his 15 acres. When it was clear the site was too small, Tiber introduced the promoters to dairy farmer, Max Yasgur, initially on the premise that Yasgur’s land would rent for $50 for a festival attracting 5,000.

On July 20, 1969, Yasgur, meeting with the organizers at a White Lake restaurant called The Lighthouse, agreed to rent 600 acres for $75,000.

I leaked News of the event was leaked to local radio station WVOS even before Yasgur and the organizers left the restaurant.

I got a lot of the residents to opose the concert and they put up signs proclaiming, “Buy No Milk. Stop Max’s Hippy Music Festival,” Bethel Town Attorney Frederick W. V. Schadt and building inspector Donald Clark approved the permits, but the Bethel Town Board at my urging, refused to issue them formally. Clark was ordered to post Stop Work orders, but the promoters tore them down.

Fearing chaos as thousands began descending on the community, Bethel did not enforce its codes. Eventually as my last ditch attempt to foil the festivial, I contacted radio stations and had people discouraged from setting off to the festival and the traffic jams were described on television news programs.

So… it was clear that Woodstock was going to go off as planned, but I decided to throw yet another monkey wrench into the mix… I tore down part of the fence so people could get in for FREE (Your Welcome Minions!)

So thanks to me, what started off to be a concert to make money, turned into the world’s largest 3 day freebie lol

But I did not stop there, I had 400,000 people in one spot, so I decided to have a little fun:

I spread the rumors that the brown acid was poisoned, I pulled “Country Joe” McDonald aside and told him he should start off his set by making the crowd chant FUCK over and over (hoping it would set off a fight or two) he did, they chanted, but no fights.

All in all, the weekend was a blast, what I did to set out to destroy the concert I can honestly say is the REASONS the show went the way it did, and for that I The Real Devil MADE WOODSTOCK!

Until next time….

HAIL ME!