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I was talking with a friend who’d recently witnessed an act of callous greed. She asked, “Why are there so many bad people in the world?”

I replied, “There aren’t as many bad people as you think. It’s just that the bad ones get more attention and are generally more memorable than the good ones.”

For instance, a few years from now, most of us will remember the lady who pepper sprayed others so she could nab a cheap X Box on Black Friday. We will have long forgotten the countless Good Samaritans who have been paying off other people’s layaway accounts, including one for a family with a very sick child.

We’ll probably also remember the woman who didn’t want her dog any more and then abandoned it in cold Chicago where neighborhood children beat it with bats and broomsticks. Yet we will have forgotten the story of the lab who rescued kittens from oncoming traffic or the group who rescued the beagles from the science lab in Spain. After spending their entire lives confined to small, metal crates where they underwent untold experiments, the beagles recently saw the outdoors for the first time. (Warning: this video made me cry big fat girly tears.)

It’s easy to focus on the negative. For instance, when I first read about Good Samaritans paying off the layaway accounts of others, I thought, “Did Kmart, Target and Wal-mart make all of this up to spur others to spend more money at their stores?” Someone else I know questioned whether the items some people had on layaway were really necessary.

With the animal stories, a negative thinker could fixate on the abuse. The lab wouldn’t have had to rescue the kittens from traffic if someone hadn’t have tossed them there in the first place. Same issue with the beagles.

But as the Buddha once said, there is suffering in this world. That will never change, and none of us can escape it. Money, fame, high status and respect do not erase suffering. All of us are touched by it. It’s what all living beings have in common.

We will all be faced with greed, hunger, anger, pain, illness, and many other issues in our lives.

This is a given.

It’s how we respond to that suffering that makes the difference. We have a choice. We can respond by hardening our hearts and choosing to only see the negatives. We can fight greed with greed, anger with anger, and suffering with more suffering. We can complain about it. We can give up and become apathetic.

Or we can do the opposite.

We can be that lab who rescued those kittens. That dog didn’t think, “Wait, is this a trick? Wait, aren’t kittens the enemy? Wait, do these kittens really deserve my help? Wait, is this going to turn into a big problem for me? Is this too dangerous? If I take these kittens home, will I get less attention? Maybe I shouldn’t get involved. Maybe someone else should help them.”

No, he responded, probably without thinking.

We all have the potential to be good, just as we also all have the potential to be evil.

We can fixate on the negative and talk ourselves out of helping others. Or we can help, no questions asked. We can help without judgment, and we can do it without expecting others to be deserving.

We can be like Julio Diaz who, a few years ago, was mugged at knife point. When the mugger asked for his wallet, Julio handed it over. As the mugger walked away, Julio then offered his coat, as the mugger wasn’t wearing one and it was a cold night. Julio then convinced the mugger to have dinner with him. Julio responded out of compassion rather than fear or anger. As a result, he eventually talked the mugger out of his life of crime and made the world a little safer for all of us.

This will be the last post I write this year. When I post again next year, I’ll tell you about Kayt Sukel’s new book Dirty Minds. If you’d like to do a good deed between now and then, you can preorder Kayt’s book. I’m sure that would bring a smile to her face.

Please use the comments area of this post to mention ways we can all do more good this holiday season and beyond. How are you trying to stay positive? In what ways have you tried to make a difference? Are there needy people or charities that you’d like to mention and make away to others? 

Note: Many people have asked me if Project: Happily Ever After is coming out in paperback. It’s not. But amazon.com seems to be selling the hardcover at paperback prices. The “bargain” hardcover price is $9.18. 

Learn more about Alisa’s book, the story of how she went from wishing her husband dead to falling back in love.

To find out how the book has changed lives click here.

Want to discuss Project: Happily Ever After at book club or your church group? Click here for an entertaining guide.
Go to ProjectHappilyEverAfter.com for more marriage advice or to converse with other recovering divorce daydreamers.